Supreme Court: ‘Life isn’t all gay weddings and free health care’

The cold, indifferent pillars of justice
The cold, indifferent pillars of justice.

WASHINGTON D.C. – The Supreme Court voted 5-4 to uphold the use of the sedative midazolam in lethal injections, a drug implicated in several botched executions in Oklahoma. “The world is a sick, fucked up place,” said Justice Samuel Alito in a stern, matter-of-fact voice. “Americans need to understand that life isn’t all gay weddings and free health care.” The Supreme Court also ruled to limit the EPA’s ability to regulate mercury emissions from power plants, citing the fact that “our power has to come from somewhere, and are you gonna supply it? Didn’t think so.” 

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